How uncomfortable are you willing to get, to have what you most deeply desire?

Today, I want to share with you an inside scoop of one of first constructs I share with new coaching clients. It’s the concept of “comfort zone.” Here’s the basic premise: 

1. Your most familiar and habitual thoughts, feelings, choices, and circumstances exist inside of your comfort zone. 

2. Outside of our comfort zone is where unfamiliar, new thoughts, feelings, choices, and circumstances live. 

3. Most of us, most of the time, live our lives inside of our comfort zone.

4. What you desire (i.e. what you want but don’t currently have), exists outside of your comfort zone (otherwise you’d already have it!).

5. To gain access to what you desire, you must be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

Make sense? Let’s go one step deeper by examining a real world example. Let’s say you desire more intimacy with your partner. Inside of your comfort zone, there may be existing patterns that block what you truly desire. For instance, maybe inside of your comfort zone, you feel afraid of rejection; pick fights; or avoid asking for what you need. When you imagine having what you truly want, you may imagine it’s impossible, because it’s so different from your current, familiar experience. That makes sense, since more intimacy is currently outside of your comfort zone! So to gain access to what you desire, you must be willing to step beyond your comfort zone. Maybe getting outside your comfort zone means doing some deep inner work to shift old thought patterns. Maybe it means opening your heart more to reveal what you really want. Maybe it means showing up in your relationship in a whole new way. Maybe it means having some tough conversations. 

Two parting questions for you to ponder or journal:

In what areas of your life do you avoid getting uncomfortable? 

Are you willing to step outside what’s known and familiar, to gain access to what you truly desire?

Please feel free to share any reflections with me. I’m always open to hearing from you.