Who Would You Be Without Your “Shoulds?”
|Who would you be without your “shoulds?”|
This is a question that keeps popping up with coaching clients this week.
I should stop swearing. I should have my student loans paid off by now. I should mediate every day. I should stop picking fights with my partner. I should be donating more.
The list goes on.
Here’s the problem with “shoulds.” They come from OUTSIDE of you. There’s some external idea that you may be comparing yourself against. And often, there is an underlying sense of shame driving them.
What if, instead, you looked at the actual need or desire underlying your “shoulds?” For instance, if we shift the “shoulds” from the examples above, to the actual INTERNAL desires, we might discover:
I desire clear, impactful communication.
I desire to feel secure financially, and experience more freedom in my day to day life.
I desire internal peace.
I desire to show up in my relationship in a way that has my partner feel respected and loved.
I desire to share my resources in a way that makes a positive impact in the world.
What are YOUR “shoulds?” And what is the actual need or desire underneath?