One thing I see in coaching individuals and couples (and in my own relationship!) is that the way we communicate our needs and desires is the key to just about everything.

Today, I am bringing you my #1 tip for communication with your partner (or really, anyone in your life!). It’s an easy to implement way to say what you need, in a way that is intended to leave you both better. Because something I see so often is that communicating our needs can sometimes leave one or both people feeling disempowered.

Here’s my formula for communicating your needs:

1. Set the tone. Make sure you are emotionally regulated (not in the heat of emotion). Commit to bringing the type of energy that you want to receive back.

2. Acknowledge. Express what you appreciate about your partner, in this moment, or in general in your relationship.

3. Give. Share what it is that you’re feeling, or that you’ve noticed a need or desire for.

4. Request. Based on what you’ve noticed a need or desire for, make a request of your partner. Realize they may say “yes,” “no,” or something else. 

5. Gratitude. Express thanks for your partner receiving your request, and being willing to consider it. 

Here’s how this might play out in conversation:

1. Set the tone: “Hi sweetheart, there’s something on my mind I’d like to share with you, if you have a few minutes.”

2. Acknowledge: “I really appreciate how hard you work, and your devotion to our family. I feel secure knowing you’ve got our backs.”

3. Give. “I’ve noticed a desire for more one on one time with you in the evenings.”

4. Request. “Would you be open to us building in an hour to take a walk after dinner a couple times a week to catch up?”

5. Gratitude. “Thanks for considering that. I really love being with you, and am excited to have that extra time to connect.”

Way better than brining resentment putting your partner on the defense, and accidentally instigating a tiff, yes?

This is an example of many tips and tools I’ll share in my upcoming coaching program, Relationships that Work.  While I work with couples in my coaching practice, this group is designed for individuals who want to work on themselves, so as to bring their best possible selves to their current or future relationships.

Wanna know more? Click here for all the info!

p.s. Early Bird pricing is open through July 1!