A client recently said to me, “A lot of the things we think we can’t…actually we can.”

If you know me, you can imagine that this statement was met with vigorous head nodding, clapping, and  an enthusiastic “amen,” and/or “f@ck yeah!”

There is a tremendous difference between these statements: 

I can’t.

and

I won’t. 

or

I haven’t, yet.

or 

“I need more information and support.”

What differences do you notice? Here’s what I see: 

I can’t immediately shuts down possibility. It feels and sounds disempowering, hopeless, and like a closed door.

I won’t implies agency and choice. It’s an active, empowered stance. 

I haven’t takes ownership for what hasn’t yet happened, while offering possibility for future action.

I need more information and support offers possibility. I hear willingness to try, as well as openness to receiving additional resources.

Call to action: Notice where in your life you are in the habit of thinking or saying, “I can’t.” Practice thinking and speaking from possibility instead, and notice what shifts.