How Doing the Bold Thing Can Improve Your Relationships
Recently, my partner and I were on vacation in Puerto Rico. We visited a swimming hole with a rope swing accessed by climbing up onto a rock. At first, I watched as one person after another climbed up the rock, hopped on the swing, and dropped into the cool water below. As each person emerged from the water grinning ear to ear, I knew that I wanted a turn, but: I was scared! Once I finally worked up the nerve, I climbed the rock, legs shaking and almost dizzy with anxiety. With a groan, I hopped onto the rope and swung out over the water, with no choice but to eventually let go. As I plunged into the brisk water, I immediately felt proud of myself, thoroughly delighted, and fully alive!
This experience reminded me so much of something a client recently shared. In her words:
“On the other side of the throw-up feeling is excitement, exhilaration, power.”
She described a scenario in which she had the opportunity to say something bold. Her heart was pounding. Her hands were sweating. Her throat was clenched. She almost didn’t do it.
And then, in that moment, she made a choice. She Did the Bold Thing.
Immediately after? She felt excitement, exhilaration, and power. And, she got what she was hoping for…and more!
We all encounter pivotal moments where we’re faced with a choice: to stay comfortable and watch from the sidelines, or to climb up that rock with legs shaking and heart pounding, and jump!
Like that moment where you:
Are the first in your relationship to say “I love you.”
Offer a sincere apology.
Share your most vulnerable sexual fantasy.
Say the thing that’s really bothering you, from vulnerability rather than blame.
Express a need or desire that’s not being met.
Guess what? If you’re willing to get uncomfortable, perhaps you get to experience the exhilaration, connection, levity, delight that follows. On the other side of that throw-up feeling, you just might get what you want.
p.s. If you’d like to see the video of that rope swing moment, click here!
p.p.s. If you’d like support with those “rope swing” moments in your relationship(s), we still have space in our “Relationships that Work” group coaching experience. We start in 2 weeks!