How to Say “No” Like a Pro
Recently I overheard my partner telling someone with a sort of pride, “Carrie does not do a damn thing unless she really wants to.”
That’s right, friends, if I’m not a Hell Yes, I am a No, with a quickness.
And, I realize that proclivity may not come as easily for everyone. In fact, some of you, and I say this with love, seem as if you are allergic to saying no. So let’s get to the bottom of this, because we do not need a ya’ll running around saying yes to stuff you do not want to do! Life is too precious and sweet to have you running around giving half-assed yeses to things you do not want to be involved in!
Let’s consider some of the consequences of saying yes to things you don’t have the time, capacity, or desire for. These are some of the consequences I’ve observed in the world:
Running around town, busy as hell, sleep deprived, juggling many things at a time, and usually dropping a few of them. Dropping some of those things might take the form of double booking yourself; forgetting to show up to things you committed to; not following through on commitments; and then feeling bad about yourself and getting into the self-blame and shame cycle, and using that as a reason to say yes to more things you don’t have capacity for, to somehow try and atone. Does that sound familiar?
Or, you channel those blame feelings to the unsuspecting people you said yes to, and feel resentful and irritated or used and unappreciated.
What if, instead, you chose to allocate your time, energy, and resources in a way that felt fully aligned, all the time? If when you said yes, you meant Hell Yes, and people know it. Your yes packs a punch. People know when you say you’re going to do something, you mean it, because otherwise you would have declined. When you show up, you show up powerfully present, well fed, well rested, and excited to be there.
How does THAT sound?