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As a professional coach, I have the kinds of conversations that you wish your best friend was trained and willing to have with you: highly intuitive, no bullshit, and consistently relating to you as your best self.

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You Do Not Have to Be Good.

Hello, you. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? 393 days, to be exact (yes, I looked it up. And no, it didn’t seem quite that long in my head). To sum up the last 393 days of my life for you in a word (okay, several words): Challenge. Connection. Liberation. Shit. Vulnerability. Play. Heartache. Adventure. Shit (did I mention that one already?). Courage. Experience. Delight. Growth. Grace. Or, to quote Anne Lamott’s toddler son when asked what he thought about life, “Mostly good, some bad.”

So, why now? Why resume this blog 393 days later?

Well, because. Because many of you have asked me to. Because I have asked me to, and am finally ready to answer the call, again. And mostly, because I feel strongly compelled to cultivate and nurture a safe space that encourages truth-seeking and truth telling, even when it is not pretty all the time. It is not pretty all the time. I believe there is freedom in acknowledging that, and strength in choosing to show up, anyway.

It is important to me that you know these things:

You do not have to be good.

You are enough.

You deserve happiness.

My insight-provoking coach pointed out that it is not my highest commitment to life to Play it Safe, or to play the Good Girl. I agree. And I suspect the same to be true for you, too. So here’s to not Playing it Safe, and not Having to be Good. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite poems, one of the few I’ve ever bothered to memorize:

Wild Geese ~ Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.




You Do Not Have to Be Good.

  1. Dona Hagler says:

    So glad you are back!

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