If You Do What You’ve Always Done…
If you do what you’ve always done…
You’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
This week, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by a friend in the yoga community about the ins and outs of Coaching. One question she asked especially struck a chord with me. It was something along the lines of, “How has Coaching changed you?”
“How much time do you have?”
Seriously: there is so much. But one thing that came up immediately for me in response to her question is the practice of choosing from a different place, rather than my automatic go-to in any given scenario.
Case in point: earlier that day, I had the experience of being confronted by lots of icky feelings (jealousy, anger, righteousness), toward someone that I love. My automatic told me to suppress my feelings, make myself wrong for feeling them, and to by no means have an actual conversation with my loved one about it.
What would that have gotten me? I suspect, what it always does: resentment, shame, self-imposed distance in the relationship.
What did I do instead? I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling. I reached out to a coaching colleague for support. I took a deep breath. And: I did the unheard of. I initiated a conversation with my loved one, from a place of vulnerability, love, and partnership.
And what did that get me? Something way different. What it got me/us was the opportunity to be open, to give and receive affirmation and support, connection with each other from heart, and a clearing for deeper expression within our relationship. A win, I would say.
As we completed our conversation, I cried tears of gratitude: Gratitude for recognizing the opportunity to come from a different place. Gratitude for my colleague who provided in the moment Coaching support. Grateful to my loved one’s open heart and generosity. Grateful for my own willingness to do the unfamiliar and scary thing. Grateful to co-create a different outcome.
What about you? Do you notice yourself doing the same things over and over, and expecting a different outcome? Interested in taking a look at how life might be for you, coming from a different place? Schedule some time with me here.